The joy in my heart is real now as I have always dreamed it to be
It was not always that way
There was a time my heart was longing for something that seemed out of reach
I didn't think it could ever be
It was constant
Those feelings that never seemed to go away
I was plagued with them day and night
Sometimes I questioned my very existence
How could I go forward
Knowing my pain
My desperation
My frustrations
My sadness
I never felt true to who I truly was
I always sought comfort in my minds image which was
My wish
My hope
My dream
Would it ever be possible
I always wondered
Never truly knowing what would become of my life
I was living in quiet desperation
About a life where I felt my true self
How I wished for this to be possible
How I dreamed it so much each and every day
Life was a constant reminder of my uncertainty
My uneasiness
My fear
My lack of passion
My struggling in my never ending quest to be me
I didn't know how to make it better
I was so lost emotionally
So detached
So hurt
So sad
I could not find my way
I felt lost
Without hope
Without the strength to fight
I felt incomplete
I felt betrayed
I felt all alone
I felt unsure of who I truly was
I knew what was in my heart
I also knew my painful reality
I thought long and hard about my life's dilemma
How could my life be the way I knew it should
How could I show my true colors
How could I let the world know what was within my heart
What was the authentic me
I really didn't know how to come to terms with my situation
I felt like I was always disconnected
My heart and soul singed in sorrow and pain
My dream seemingly out of reach
My prayers seemingly unanswered
My struggle ongoing
My life a never ending nightmare
I was not how I truly saw myself in my mind
My mind's image and my reality were far different
Then one day when I least expected it
My life seemed to take a dramatic turn
As I had a monumental decision ahead of me to make
It would impact my life in a major way
All that I was seemingly a memory
I took that fateful step
I felt in my heart that was the right thing to do
I went to bed knowing what my life was like
Then I awoke and realized something truly very special
I went from a caterpillar to a

Emily Iannielli‚Äč
of T-girl Angel‚Äč

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